Another Quote

I'm not much in the mood for writing today but found this which seems to sum things up. “Very often we are our own worst enemy as we foolishly build stumbling blocks on the path that leads to success and happiness.”-Louis Binstock

Letting These Go Too

When I look at these books, I'm reminded of this estate sale I went to this past summer. The sale was advertised as nothing but women's clothing, shoes and accessories. At first a thrill went through me when I read the ad. It could be one of those chance in a lifetime sales where the lady was a shopaholic or the writer of the ad was blowing smoke and it would be a single table with clothes. Curiosity got the better of me and I went. This was the first estate/garage/yard sale I attended after doing the estate sale for my friend.
The sale started later in the morning than normal and I was the first one there. I approached the driveway of the house and there were signs pointing up to the front door and to the open two-door car garage. I started in the garage. The entire garage was filled with clothing racks like the ones in department stores. They were completely loaded with clothes. Two floor-to-ceiling shelves on the side garage walls were filled with shoes and purses not to mention bins all over the garage floor that were overflowing. I stopped dead in my tracks as I took it all in. From a thrifter's prospective, I was overjoyed beyond imagination at the bounty in front of me. As I stood rooted in place, I looked past the stuff and saw the family members struggling to put one more thing on a piece of clothesline nailed into a garage beam and praying it would hold. I almost walked out of there as I felt sick. Although I didn't have that much stuff at home, I still recognized the signs. I forced myself to stay and reminded myself to shop conscientiously.
The shocked expression on my face didn't escape the notice of the family members holding the sale. They smiled somewhat bemused and explained they were the son, the daughter and the daughter-in-law of the deceased lady to whom all of this belonged. Obviously, she loved to shop. She loved to shop department stores, outlet stores and from home shopping channels. Many of the clothes were brand new or barely worn. Looking at the various styles of clothes, I noted she must have been one very well dressed lady. The prices were a wee bit higher than what I normally saw which kept my purchases in check. It took me almost 45 minutes to go through the garage. The son told me to be sure to check out the main part of the house. His sister led me from the garage up to the upper floor of the split-level house. My mouth gaped as I stepped into the living room. There was as much if not more clothing in there than in the garage. I passed by the kitchen which was noticeably empty when I went to look at a rack of clothes. I asked the sister if they had held another sale prior to this one and she said no. The family had cleared out the house, which had been filled top to bottom and all of the contents, but the clothing items, had been put into storage. Once the clothing was gone, then they would retrieve the stuff from the storage units and hold another sale. The house had to be almost 3,000 square feet. The sister said while they were going through their mother's documents with a lawyer, they found out their mom owned another house no one had known about and it too was filled to the gills with stuff. I only bought a few things and left the sale feeling very sad for the family. As it happened, they ended up holding the sale two more weekends, just for the clothes, to try and sell as much as possible. I haven't seen any ads for their address in the classifieds. I often wonder if they decided to just donate the rest of the contents or if they are still sorting through things.
I don't want my family to be in that position with my possessions. Ever.
These books have sat untouched on my desk for about a month. It's not that I don't want to read them. They are going to say pretty much the same as what Flylady, Peter Walsh and many other books on the topic of clutter, hoarding and over-shopping have to say that I read over the summer. I'm done with the self-help books. They've become more of a hindrance (taking up space on my desk surface) than a help. I know what I need to do and I'm doing it.

A Good Quote

"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."

-- Joan Didion

Kicking the Soda Habit (For Good!)

Soda is my main food vice. I've tried time and time again in the last three years to not drink the stuff. When I worked evenings in retail, it became second nature to have a soda on my break to get through the last half of my shift and for my long drive home. Or if I didn't sleep well the night before, it became a crutch to help me through the morning where my energy level is not at its peak. I've heard enough about all of the evil things corn syrup could do but it wasn't enough to make me quit. I usually had one can or one glass of soda a day. Recently, I was sitting down at my desk and took a sip of my usual favorite and thought that it truly tasted awful. I tried another sip and it resulted in the same thing. Blech. I decided that was as good as a time as any to work on breaking my soda habit for good. It's been six days since my last soda. I've been drinking water and tea as to replace a bad habit with good one. So far, I don't miss the sodaa at all. I didn't have any withdrawal headaches or crabbiness (my family may beg to differ LOL) that usually come when I try to stop drinking soda. Some benefits I've experienced from not drinking soda have been not feeling bloated, not having other cravings for things that I would eat when having a soda sometimes (fast food or a candy bar), sleeping better at night, not having digestive issues and saving money (the price of soda has been insane these past few months).

Leaving the Hermitage Behind

Back in June, I took the summer off from my weekly volunteer job with the kids out of school and other plans. I'd been volunteering for a year and half without really taking a break. I was approaching burn out with a number of things and needed to take some pots off of my overflowing stove.
I had intentions of volunteering again once school started but I realized I didn't miss it. Or I didn't think I did. I didn't necessarily miss the odd office jobs but I definitely missed the people. Working from home has its advantages and loneliness is not one of them. Sure, I have my pets to keep me company. They stop in for a visit in my office now and then but it's not the same. That once a week volunteer job kept me grounded in the world of adults but I still felt something lacking.
Recently, I've found myself tearing up when I think of my friends and sister-in-laws. I'm within an hour or so from most them so it's not like I can give them a ring and ask if they want to have an impromptu lunch. I really haven't made any friends since we moved over here two years ago. I was barely at my retail job for 4 months after we moved before I quit and didn't really have the chance to get to know anyone there. I feel like I've become somewhat of a hermit. It's not that I can't stand to be by myself because I do enjoy working by myself and taking time for myself. However, it is nice to have a friend that is local.
Today I volunteered for the quarterly newsletter mailing party which involves either sitting or standing around organizing pages and folding and gabbing with other volunteers. I'd intended on staying only a couple of hours but stayed longer because I really just enjoyed the time being around other people. I'm thinking about maybe just volunteering once or twice a month rather than on a weekly basis. I'm still thinking it over. The friend I helped do the estate sale with back in June works there. Before I left, I handed her the unsold items. I was wanting to invite her to coffee or go see a movie sometime but suddenly became self-conscious and clammed up. She said thanks again for the selling of her stuff and mentioned she'd see me around Facebook. Is it harder to make friends once you get older? I remember it being so much easier as kids. If Susie liked the color pink and so did you, boom, you were friends. Instead of tearing up again and have a pity party with a table for one, I put on my big girl panties and sent an email off to a really nice lady whose daughter is friends with my youngest. I just heard back from her. We'll be meeting for hot chocolate at a local coffee house later this week.

Weekend Decluttering

Things are still moving along at a steady but slow pace in getting my office under control. This afternoon I completed all of my mending projects and emptied out a 20-gallon plastic storage bin in the process. There were a few things I wasn't able to salvage and I didn't feel bad as I put them into the donation bag. I dumped out a laundry basket that held about 20 pairs of shoes to resell & put those in the plastic storage bin. The laundry basket is now in the laundry room where it belongs and I have some open space under my desk. At the beginning of next week, I'll be handing my friend back her 15-gallon container of unsold items.

Hoarding

Over the summer, I watched a new show on A & E called Hoarders. I usually don't watch reality shows but this one drew me in immediately. I was shocked, horrified, angry, tense, saddened and sympathetic when I watched the episodes. I couldn't help but see small bits and pieces of myself in a few of the people that were profiled on the show. After each show I watched, I immediately had the urge to start decluttering my house. I don't recall which episode it was that resulted in me cleaning out 75% of the books out of my personal library and a bunch that were in my business inventory that were cannon fodder. In the aftermath of my cleaning frenzy, the entire floor of my office was littered with books. I filled at least 20 paper grocery bags with books. Each bag was filled at maximum capacity and weight, hauled down four flights of stairs and eventually to the trunk of my car. I felt absolutely liberated. I even got rid of the rest of those lined storage baskets I agonized over a few years ago that I didn't end up using. They ended up at my friend's moving sale and I think most of them sold.

One of the organizers/therapists said something to one of the hoarders (Steven) that really hit home. Is this object representative of how you want to live your life? I think his goal was to be a writer. One of his objectives was to only keep those items that would help him reach that goal. Right around that time, I was reading Peter Walsh's book, It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff where he pretty much asks the same questions. What are my goals? Where am I having troubles in parting with things?

My goal is to resell things I buy for resale. However, this is a double-edged sword with someone who has/had compulsive shopping issues and someone who can't seem to part with things that have flaws that might still be worth something. Then realizing they have several bins of these flawed items, it seems to overwhelming to even get started on fixing them. Or can't seem to come to terms that they made a mistake in buying something that is worthless and beating themselves up for it. And become fearful in selling anything because once the money is in hand, it's basically already spent in the euphoria of the next thrifting trip and the vicious cycle starts again. The stacks in my office have increased since this post.
I almost had hoped that the show had presented someone who was a reseller. I admit to looking carefully at the hoarders' stuff to see if there were shipping boxes amongst their possessions. I came across a quote a while back that seemed to sum it up: Perfection + Procrastination=Paralysis. Basically, during the summer months, I got myself stuck in a rut where nothing regarding my business really got done.

Eventually, I got tired of wallowing in self-pity, swallowed my pride and took the bull by the horns and picked one area of my office to begin. It turned out to be the pile of my friend's items I was selling on consignment for her. I would feel guilty in selling my own inventory while hers sat virtually untouched as I had wanted to be done with her things before school started. I even had her things purposefully placed where I rest my feet under my desk as a constant reminder to get it done. It took two weeks but I got my friend's remaining items up for sale and sold. Since her stuff was no longer hanging over my head, it was a lot easier to get back into dealing with my own inventory.

On a personal note, I have no problem parting with expired food, old magazines and newspapers, outgrown and worn-out clothing, garbage, old billing statements, etc. It leaves the house either in the trash can, recycling bins, or through donation. Why can't I shift this thinking over to my business with those "worthless" items?

As for the overshopping aspect, I'm still trying to get to the root of that problem.
There's times where I'm fine and other times I just feel compelled to shop for inventory, even though there is no need. Lately, I've been feeling ill at the thought of bringing one more thing into my office. I've been trying to stick with the goals I posted here: only going to the area thrifts once a month instead of weekly, skipping garage and yard sales altogether since the season is winding down anyway, and putting aside a set amount of money for purchases and sticking to that budget. So far, so good. In the last couple weeks, I've attended a community book sale, a consignment blowout sale and a church rummage sale. My finds might be fewer or none at all, but my office, my bank account and my physical well-being are much better for it.